Sunday, August 15, 2010


I feel a rant coming on... so if you don't wanna hear it... click the little red X in the top right corner of your browser.
Tonight I am pissed!  I am so annoyed and discouraged by something that should have been exceedingly encouraging.  I was checking out some blogs where the writers were complaining about how they look.  Yeah, I'm not a big fan of how I look, but I find things I like about it, focus on those, and work on the ones I don't like.  These women with ripped arms and sculpted abs were complaining about how their bodies have a wrinkle here and a dimple there.

SERIOUSLY?!  You look abso*uckingloutly amazing and you are worried about a wrinkle that I would have NEVER noticed had you not pointed it out?!  OMG!

Let me just say this... I used to be a model.  I spent 2 of my teenage years sacrificing my weekends to tone my body and learn to carry myself confidently.  I was fit and beautiful.  Now, after nearly 5 years of birth control, I am obese, exhausted all the time, and can't even see my feet most days!  I am working my *ss off to get in shape and getting no where.  I will never be as beautiful as you are!  My skin will never be tight over my stomach like yours.  But you know what?  I don't care.  All I want is to be healthy.  Please, for the love of all things wonderful and good, count your blessings!

Please tell me I am not being overly sensitive here.  Yes, I completely understand that no matter what their size, women will find something about their bodies that they don't like... but PLEASE do not tell me your body is horrible and the only redeeming feature you have is your pinky toe or something ridiculous like that.  Consider yourself lucky and blessed that you are healthy and beautiful.

Why do we do this?  Why do otherwise healthy women tell themselves they are ugly and fat?  You are damaging yourself and those who are struggling desperately to get in shape.  When I see these women complaining about their near perfect bodies, I think to myself... I'll never have what they take for granted... why even bother?  It just enrages me!

You know, even though I am 70lbs over my healthy weight... I am still thankful for my overly stretched body. At least I am not morbidly obese.  At least I am able to walk and climb stairs.  At least my condition is something I can change and not from a disease that can not be fixed.  There are so many people out there that don't have those blessings.  So you see, no matter where you are in life, you should feel blessed for what you have and not complain about the small imperfections only you notice.

Sure, I want to lose weight and look hot for myself and my husband... but my goal is to be healthy, not skinny.  When I am healthy, I will have nothing left to complain about.  Right now, my complaint is my fat, because it is making my body overwork and is clogging up my organs... not simply because I look fat.

I am sorry if this rant offended anyone, but I have been there... I was that woman.  I know how she feels and I am saying, from this side of the fence... feel blessed!  Arg!  I'm going to go cry now.  I'll be better in the morning.
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