Friday, December 31, 2010

Pregnancy Update

First of all, thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.  They helped immensely.  At 0300 last night I began having contractions about 2 minutes apart.  By 0330 they were 30 seconds apart and at 0340 I miscarried my fourth pregnancy.  It wasn't as painful physically as it was emotionally because I re-lived my last two miscarriages and at the same time feared for the next pregnancy.  I prayed that it would be over soon and within five minutes it was.  I am doing well today.  I went back to the ER for a pelvic exam and all looks well so far.  I will go in on Monday to the OB/GYN to have an ultrasound and full pelvic to make sure it was a complete miscarriage.  I am 99% sure it was because of what I felt at the end.  I couldn't bear to look so I had DH take care of it for me.

In the next couple of days I will be working on new goals for 2011 since my last set of goals are no longer relevant.  I will also likely shed several pounds this week from water, blood, and tissue loss.  Not everything about this is negative though.  I have the opportunity to continue losing weight now which will make for a much healthier pregnancy next time around, and of course, a much healthier me.  It will also allow me more time to prepare emotionally for another baby.  This trip down to Texas showed me just how stressed out I am and I do not think my mental condition would have allowed me to be the best mom I could be to Little Bit and Pumpkin at the same time.

I will be putting my pregnancy blog on hold but I will not be deleting it.  I'll be coming back to it next time we are expecting since I believe that a pregnancy is a pregnancy, despite which fetus is growing into a baby.  I don't know if this baby will be waiting to meet me in the end, or if it will be coming back to me as the next pregnancy, but either way, it is not lost.

I'll be back to normal posting in a few days I bet.  I am still a bit sad, as to be expected, but because I can see the positives in this miscarriage, I am healing much faster than before.  I know God was in this plan.  See you soon, and thanks again for your loving support.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I wanna be excited about Santa again...

or anything for that matter.  I don't get excited about anything anymore.  It's likely due to my depression in the most part... but part of it is that nothing truly excites me.  I was pretty excited when I got a bucket of mail one day, but that was like 6 months ago and nothing since then.  Not even this pregnancy.  Where does that childish enthusiasm go?  I feel like I am robbing LB by not being excited about anything.  I know he didn't smile until close to 6 months old because I never smiled during that time... and now I think he is such a calm and deciding baby because I don't interact with him emotionally.  I know I haven't ruined him,  but I feel as though I am stunting his imagination.  Heck, I've lost about 50lbs (give or take) this year and even that doesn't excite me!  All I see is obese and the same weight I was when I got pregnant with LB.  I'm back at square 1 with little to show for it.

Christmas is days away and I'm not excited.  I am grateful for Christ's birth (even though it was likely not in December) but not excited.  I want to be gitty and have that "sneak into the living room at 4am to make sure Santa came and then go back to sleep... or you know, wait in my room unable to sleep" kind of feeling.  Any suggestions on finding my inner child again?  I totally need to order a bunch of small, inexpensive things off Amazon so I can have a bucket o mail again! lol  I mean look at that face... I don't have eyes!  I am smiling so big they disappeared! teehee

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I Guess It Helped...

I did my three 10 minute pregnancy workouts just now.  I broke a bit of a sweat and I could tell all the exercises in it were designed to strengthen the core muscles and stretch the hips, but I'm not really sure how I feel about them yet.  I'll try to do them daily and see if I can tell any results.  I don't really feel like I exercised and I don't have any more energy than before... maybe it's just too soon to tell.

Tomorrow I go get my glucose test done.  No eating for 13 hours... *sigh*  I hate that test!  Last time the drink made me sick. It's a normal reaction I hear... but if you throw it up you have to come back and do it again.  No fun.  Wish me luck.  Thankfully, DH is able to go with me in case I get sick.  He can comfort me, call a nurse, or take care of LB if I need him to.  I probably won't get the results until I come back from vacation.  I don't really care what they are though.  Last time I controlled it with diet alone and I have a lance that allows me to test on the fleshy part of my hand under my pinkie finger so it doesn't hurt at all.  I'll definitely let you know how it goes though.  Until then, be safe and healthy.  If you haven't seen it yet, my new pregnancy blog is over here... go on, take a look.  It's super cute if I say so myself!

Vacation Break

I already had an unexpected break from blogging with out internet being out of service, but I'll be taking a vacation next week visiting family.  I'll be back with Motivation Monday and Friday Party Hop in a week or so.  Have a safe and happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and New Years y'all!

Saturday, December 18, 2010


The new (I know, like I don't have enough already) pregnancy blog!  Coming This July is up and running... and I've already made a couple of posts.  Head on over and check it out if you are interested.  If a blog post is not specifically related to pregnancy and fitness it will be made over there instead.  Click the button to check out the new blog and to follow Pumpkin and I on this crazy road of pregnancy and birth.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Hot 100 Update Week 12

Sorry for the unexpected missed week.  We were without internet at the new house for over a week.  We're back now... just in time for vacation where I'll likely not be able to post lol.

Here are my new goals:
  • Keep weight gain in my first trimester below 5lbs
  • List 10 items in my new Etsy shop
  • Unpack all the boxes from this move
How did I do last week?
  • Weight: 228lbs which is a gain of 6lbs from when I became pregnant - I am 1lb over my desired weight but I think with added exercise I should be fine. I just want to make sure I don't gain too much because of overeating sweets.
  • 5/15 items listed - I may not get this one done because all my crafting supplies are packed away now... but I'll keep trying
  • We are moved in to our new house and I have unpacked all the downstairs boxes.  Upstairs clothes boxes and craft room supplies are next  - In Progress
How did you do with your goals this week?

Having Some Trouble...

Well, I weighed in at 228lbs today which is over my desired 5lb limit for the first trimester.  Now, before you begin to worry... I am not going to cut any essential nutrients from my diet while pregnant to lose weight.  However, because I am already in the obese category despite losing nearly 50lbs this year, I need to watch my weight gain closely.

I have two options to control my weight gain:
  • Limit my sweets intake
  • Exercise more (in a comfortable range of course)
Normally, controlling my sweet tooth is not a problem.  I don't eat many sweets and most things people enjoy that expand the waist band are too sweet for me anyways... but since getting pregnant with Pumpkin all I've wanted are sweets!  LB's craving was milk which is great for my body... I just didn't work out as regularly as I should have.  Pumpkin is making me want cookies, cakes, pies, and chocolate (more than my 1.5 oz of dark per day).  With LB I knew I was craving calcium.... but what on Earth is my body needing from all those sweets?  Fruits just don't cut it so I don't think it's the sugar.  Any ideas?  It's going to be a daily struggle to keep my sweets in check and to exercise daily. 

Thankfully, whether I want to or not, I have to go up and down our stairs several times a day for LB's diaper changes and naps and to go to bed at night.  I need more activity than that though.  I plan on using a couple of my pregnancy yoga DVDs and I am hoping we can find a used recumbent bike to bring home.  It's my favorite equipment at the gym and I have been unable to go to the gym in months because I can't take LB with me.

I have about 3 more weeks before I should even be gaining weight and I have already gained 6lbs.  I am hoping with increased exercise I will have more energy and shed some of the weight I have put on these last couple of months.  If I can work out for 30 minutes a day and cut down on the sweet cravings then I should be alright.  What do you eat when you want a cookie or piece of pie?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Setting New Goals

Obviously I will not be reaching my goal of 180lbs by Christmas seeing as how I am 226 and only have 2 weeks left.  However, I think I have a really good excuse for not reaching my goal!
So nana-nana-booboo!  Lol.  I think new goals are in order, don't you?  Here are my new goals:

Flexible goals to strive for:
  • Keep weight gain below 227lbs (5lbs) until February which begins my second trimester.
  • Gain no more than 20lbs throughout my entire pregnancy, preferably 10-15lbs.

Hard fast goals to achieve:
  • Eat according to my pregnancy nutrition sheet each day.  That means: 4 servings per day of dairy, 3-4 of lean meat, 6 of grains, 1-2 of dark green, orange, and yellow fruits and veggies, 1-2 of vitamin C rich foods, and 2-6 of other fruits and veggies.
  • Drink enough water to keep me running to the bathroom all day (and unfortunately all night) and maintain light colored urine.
  • Exercise daily (preferably 30 minutes) even if it's just unpacking boxes, walking up and down our stairs for 10 minutes, or shoveling snow (although that last one is a pretty hard work out!).
  • Continue with DH and my Meat and Tater's diet.
  • Put my feet up every night for at least 30 minutes.
  • Take at least 15 minutes every day to relax and breathe deeply.

I'm Home

I'm back lovelies!  Phew.... I hate being without internet.  It'll be a couple days... okay, maybe like a couple hours... before I get a real post up.  So besides not having e-mail, blogging, access to our bank account info (which is a rough thing when I had to fork over $3,000 for this move!)... I have "1000+" blog entries in my blog reader.  So, for the first time EVAR... I pressed "Mark all as read" without having skimmed them all first.  Eeek!  That means if you wrote something amazing in the last week and half I probably won't see it.  Sorry... but I do have a baby to care for (who has just woken up) and a house to unpack still.  If you have something you'd love for me to read and comment on, please let me know.  I'll be visiting the blogs where I read every single post, but there are many wonderful blogs I follow that I don't check daily but I don't want to miss what you have to say.

See y'all soon!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Hot 100 Update Week 10

Here are my new goals:
  • Lose 15 lbs from 225.3lbs to get to 210lbs
  • List 10 items in my new Etsy shop
  • Unpack all the boxes from this move
How did I do last week?
  • Weight: 222.2lbs which is a total 3.1lbs/15lbs lost, 12.2lbs to go! - I am not able to weigh myself until Monday or Tuesday so that is last week's weight in.
  • 5/15 items listed - I may not get this one done because all my crafting supplies are packed away now... but I'll keep trying
  • We are still moving today... this is taking much longer than it should have.  Anyways, we ought to be in the new house tonight and I can begin unpacking.  - In Progress
How did you do with your goals this week?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Friday Fun and Announcement!

We are in the middle of our move.  I will likely not have internet for Motivation Monday.  I will post late if I need to.  I'm kinda hoping a neighbor doesn't have their internet secured so we have access until ours can be reconnected in the new house.  See you sometime next week y'all!

It's time for Friday Fun!  That means it's time for Friday Party Hop! I hope you'll join me this week for some blog, twitter, and facebook hopping fun!