Thursday, January 20, 2011


I can feel the depression creeping back in.  I am fairly certain it's the birth control, but right now it's the best option for me and my family so I am not going to stop taking it.  I'll continue to monitor it and have my husband watch for cues that it is getting too severe.  As much as I hate the idea of it, I might have to take some medication to neutralize another medication.  Now on to the problem at hand...

Because of the depression I am finding it very hard to get enough motivation to go to the gym every night.  Tonight I will likely not go because it is -40 out and the gym doesn't have a plug in for the car.  No plug in at that temperature means dead battery and $400 to replace it.  I have work out videos and equipment at home but I can't make myself utilize them either.  I know if I could just get myself to the gym to work out on a regular basis the depression would lift, but we all know taking that first step is the hardest.  I haven't been to the gym since early last week and I am having trouble convincing myself to go again.  Sometimes, okay a lot of the time, I think to myself what's the use?  I've been working on losing weight all year and am essentially where I began pre-pregnancy.  I gained 50lbs during my pregnancy and have lost less than that.  Only 10lbs was what I lost, 40 of it was baby and water weight.  I was 120lbs this time 2 years ago.  It's just so frustrating.

I don't know how to continue on and the depression isn't doing me any favors either.  I've thought about taking supplements but they all contain stimulants which aren't good for people who suffer from anxiety.  Any suggestions?
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