Saturday, November 20, 2010

I'm So Scared

Last pregnancy I ended up with gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia.  For those who don't know, pre-eclampsia is high blood pressure and water retention in pregnant women.  It can be mild or severe.  Mine was borderline severe by the time I was far enough along to be induced.  I was induced at the very earliest day they are allowed to induce at this hospital.  I also had to have magnesium dripped into me which made LB sleepy and unresponsive his first month of life.  We had a very hard time keeping him awake to feed him and he lost 15% of his birth weight (that is a lot).  The reason I needed it was to make sure my blood pressure didn't skyrocket and make me seize during labor. I have thought long and hard about this and I am pretty sure if they say I have to have the magnesium I will opt for an immediate c-section.  It was very unhealthy for LB to have that in his system and even though I would prefer a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), I want what is best for Pumpkin yet still safe for me.

The only way to avoid being given magnesium is to not develop pre-eclampsia.  That is what I am so afraid of right now.  Since the pregnancy hormone has been high enough to show positive on a urine test I have been gaining nearly 2lbs per week.  I should not be gaining weight due to the pregnancy until month 4, maybe even month 6 given my BMI.  I am eating healthy, drinking lots of water, trying to be active.  I can be more active and plan to be this week.  I just don't know what I am doing wrong or if it's just that I am going to gain again.  I thought perhaps I was gaining because I am drinking much more water than before.  I am chronically dehydrated and that is very unhealthy for Pumpkin... but my scale says that my water % is steady.  I just don't know what to try.  I am going to ask my Dr next week and the nutritionist if it is healthy to be carb free while pregnant or if I need to eat some per day.  She had very specific ones I could eat when I developed the gestational diabetes, but I don't know if I "needed" to eat them.

I just don't want to live this pregnancy in fear again.  Last time was not healthy.  I would not be surprised if having another like it puts my life in danger.  I need to change something, but I don't know what... or even if I can.  Both of those pregnancy diseases matter more on hormones than weight, but those who are obese are at a higher risk.  See how confusing it can be?  Please pray for me, Pumpkin, and DH and LB as we navigate this pregnancy and work to make it a very healthy one.

Do any of you have some great pregnancy work out videos you like?  Or a trainer you like who has a pregnancy DVD out?  I would love to hear some suggestions...  In this cold and darkness, it is safer for me to work out indoors.
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