I started answering her questions thinking, oh this isn't hard... and then it got personal. My answers got emotional. I wanted to share with you what I wrote to her so that you can be encouraged and maybe feel like you aren't alone in case you have the same struggles.
* What is your biggest frustration with your body right now?
My weight loss. I gained a lot of weight while on birth control in college, then gained more through a stressful wedding (thanks mom...) and then had our first child. I ballooned from 150 to 270. I am back down to 220 now but the more I lose the less I like my body. I know one day it will be pretty again (different from HS of course, but pretty) and I know it's for my health (above all else) but seeing all the lose skin and rolls just depresses me. I think, at least when I was fat I was fat. Now I'm a little fat and a lot wiggly. lol
* How does your overall body image affect the rest of your life (relationships, sex life, dreams, careers, etc.)?
It has definitely taken a toll on my confidence which we all know effects our entire life. I don't feel sexy. Even at 190lbs I felt sexy. I may have been overweight, but men still stared. There was a time right after our son was born when my hormones were all over the place. I was still 240lbs but men watched me with hawk eyes and I loved it. Now I just feel flabby I guess. I have tried very hard to be sexy toward my husband and it has helped but I wish I could feel sexy all the time again. I want my confidence back.
* What would your life look like if you loved yourself completely and your body hang-ups were no longer an issue?
When I was in HS I was a model. I worried about EVERY pound, every line... now, I don't care. I want to be healthy. Healthy may not be 150lbs. Healthy may mean wide hips and a pudgy mama belly. That's okay with me. I've learned that looking beautiful is so much less important than being healthy and FEELING beautiful. Men (and other women) don't care how I look. They take notice when I am confident about how I look, stretch marks, mama hips and all!
So click on over here and check out her challenge for us all today. It's a pretty fun one! I'm going to do mine when DH gets home from work. I think he'll enjoy that. Also, if you haven't already, click to this blog post and sign up for her entry prize of chocolate! (It will also get you signed up for e-mail reminders. Trust me, she does not spam and her posts are worth having that extra reminder in your mail box.) We all need to indulge and reward ourselves every now and then. I know all my readers deserve it after all the hard work you've put into your health!
Go check her out and let me know what you think!