Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Will You Be My Sounding Board?

I've been throwing around some thoughts lately and I am having the hardest time sorting them out.  Would you mind reading along and giving me your honest opinion?  You've been so helpful and supportive already; I was hoping I could ask for your assistance once more.

Here's what I've been thinking {in bullet form since it's all pretty jumbled in my mind}:
  • I need to do something more with my life.
  • I should be earning money {even though we don't need it}.
  • I shouldn't take away jobs from someone who really needs that money.
  • What I earn would be less than LB's daycare costs, so I should work at home.
  • What can I do to earn money at home?
  • I can craft for my etsy shop but it's more of a "comes and goes" need to create with my hands.
  • I can work on my novels but that will take years before anything comes of it.
  • I could open my house as a daycare but I haven't had any takers yet.
  • Why is money so important to me when we have enough to live on?  I don't want it to be that important.  I want happiness and fulfillment to be more important. 
  • Maybe I don't need to make money, but I should love what I do.
  • I really love blogging because it is the only thing I do simply because I enjoy doing it.
  • I don't really offer anything but my personal journal to my readers.
  • I'd really love to offer something to my readers like other bloggers do but I have no actual accreditation like they have.
  • I could go back to school, but I'm finishing my Psych degree as I type and I am not loving school right now... in fact it is a major factor in my stress level at the moment.
  • I think school is a waste of money unless you are learning something practical.  My degree doesn't make money until you have a masters.
  • Nothing I can write would be original anyway.
  • Copyrights online are kinda silly, but apparently nessecary.
  • No one, except scientists who are actively doing research, have anything truly original to offer people.
  • Can you really take what you read in an article or book by someone else, put it into your own words, slap a copyright at the bottom of your website and claim it as your own?
  • Apparently you can since everyone seems to be doing so.  I mean, there are like 100 self help books that all say the same things but in different ways and are all copyrighted... right?  Is blogging the same concept?  How close to the original can it be and still be a copyright by the new blogger?  Seems kinda dicey to me...
  • I can't help people with losing weight... I'm obese, who am I to tell them what to do?
  • But who better to tell people how to get healthy than someone who is going through the same struggle?  I know I'm not fond of skinny, beautiful women telling me to lose weight.
  • What if I don't succeed?  What if I don't lose this weight?  Then I will have been a hypocrite.  I can't stand hypocrites.
  • Do I really want to try all this or is it just another one of my grand schemes that always seem to be fleeting ideas?
  • Why am I so lazy?  I try to take short cuts in everything I do instead of spending the time to actually do something the "proper" way.  Am I being lazy or time efficient?
I'm not sure there is an answer.  Maybe I just need to try and see what happens.  I just don't know where to go, what to do.  All I know is I feel useless, and a little stupid at times.  I am 25 years old, married, with a son, about to have a degree in psychology from an accredited school and still feel like I know nothing.  Do you ever feel that way?  Sure, I know about psychology and I know how to cook a little and change a diaper among other practical skills... but is any of that really worth while outside of being a wife and mom?  I honestly don't know.
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