Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I am FUMING thanks to my MIL

The wife of my husband's best friend had weight loss surgery and I was confused because I was told she has lost 50lbs and she looks really thin. I thought you had to be considerably overweight to qualify. So my MIL wrote to DH's best friend's mom to ask and here is what she wrote: (Names changed for online)

Did M**** have the gastric sleeve, gastric by-pass, or lap band surgery? Has it even been a year now since she had that done? It seems like she has had a good success with it. (My daughter in law) is asking. She just told me that she has lost about 50 lbs now since her son was born. She had gained lots of weight when she was pregnant. Partly because she just ate and slept all the time. She did not have to work since she was an “Army Wife”, and apparently my son does not want his wife to have to work. Good for them! That’s certainly not how he was raised. And part of the time that they were apart she was very depressed because she could not go with her husband to his training bases, and did not get to go to Alaska until he had been there for a while. Issues…..anyway I think one only has to be 100 lbs overweight before they can have that kind of surgery. She would have qualified if she had not lost this weight. Apparently my son was on her about her weight and her eating habits. Unless she has recently changed, I think he does most of the cooking. That is one thing he did listen to me and my Mom about.
I AM PISSED THE F OFF! EVERYTHING she said is false. Here is my response I plan to e-mail her. Am I being too harsh or does it sound too angry? I don't want to make things hard btw us even though my husband could care less about his own mom. He wants her out of our lives.  I just don't want any undo conflict.  We all know stress isn't good for healthy living, and especially weight loss.

Interesting. Although, almost everything you told S***** is false. I guess since your son doesn't talk to you often you weren't aware. I only gained 40lbs with our son. I was overweight before we got pregnant from a medication I had to take in college. It caused me to gain nearly 70lbs in one year but I had to keep taking it. I do work actually. I own my own company and work at home because I want to be home with our son and be there any time he needs me. My husband doesn't mind if I work or don't work. All he wants is for me to be happy. And as an "Army Wife" I volunteer quite a bit. I, in no way, sit at home all day doing nothing. And I didn't just eat and sleep during my pregnancy. I was actually working out nearly everyday until my 8th month when my hips began hurting too much to do more than walking once a day. Also, I did go to my husband's training base with him and I was not depressed during that time. I was pretty pissed off that I wasn't approved to go to Alaska right away in fear that he would miss his son's birth, but I wasn't depressed and it didn't effect my weight gain. The reason I gained weight during my pregnancy is because I developed preeclamspia and had about 30lbs of water weight. Also, my husband has NEVER said anything about my eating habits except to say that I need to eat more. I eat salads, fish, lean chicken, and vegetables. We don't eat fried or processed foods. And my husband has never cooked for us. I do all our cooking and always have. I really have no idea where you got all this "information" and to be completely honest it makes me want to cry thinking you are essentially telling people I am fat and lazy. That is not fair. You have no idea about my weight gain and loss. I have lost 50lbs on my own without surgery or medical intervention even after 3 major abdominal surgeries in the last three years. I am in much better health than most overweight women my age because I exercise daily and eat healthy meals. My weight "issues" are due to medication not overeating and laziness.
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